It's my b3ta birthday in a couple of days
and I'll be away all sodding weekend, unable to celebrate it. Please, raise a glass of gin/talisker for me.

Meh. How is everyone? I've got tomorrow off, getting the train up to Newcastle for a wedding. Which means a lie-in tomorrow morning!
(Empress Bob yay, woo, houpla etc etc, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 23:22, 8 replies)

ATTENTION!!
mr wheatley of b3ta fame's telly program The Wrong Door is starting on bbc3 in 2 minutes (10:30)

GO AND WATCH!
( Madam Marlboro votes for Facebook servers as a nuclear test site, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 22:28, 10 replies)

other things Spimf does not like about Dubai...
#000006
being too far away to come round there and give that Marlboro bint a clip round the ear

#000007
these cunts have no idea how to form a decent queue

#000008
haven't had a decent cup of tea in 6 weeks because the milk tastes funny
( spimf is best described as 'risky', Thu 28 Aug 2008, 21:57, 8 replies)

Hexagons...
…are succeeding in driving me mildly insane – I’m currently revising organic chemistry, and you wouldn’t believe the number of bloody benzene rings that involves drawing out. I swear at some point drawing hexagons really is going to push me over the edge, and drive me to a rage-fueled hexagon-driven murderous rampage.

Within a few days just seeing a hexagon is going to bring me out in a cold sweat.

Ahem, minor rant over. Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest! Excuse me whilst I return to lurking...
(Decadent, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:22, 6 replies)

first in an occasional series..
Things Spimf likes about Dubai

#00001
i rented a big fuck off 4x4 for a month for BUTTONS with no guilt whatsoever because i now have justification for having one over here.

#00002
filling the tank cost less than a imported copy of GQ magazine (about 12 bloody quid!)
( spimf is best described as 'risky', Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:05, 6 replies)

first in an occasional series..
things Spimf does not like about Dubai

#000001
zealot security guards who stop me when i walk into their shitty Carrefour 'hypermarket' and staple my other shopping bags closed - yes i had hoped to shoplift a box Bold automatic you CUNT

#000002
i bought a copy of GQ - i had to pay more than the cost of a tank of petrol for it and the CUNTS had scribbled over some beautiful photography with a big bastard marker just because there was a bit of nork on show

#000003
the repressed cunts have blocked the entire flickr site - i mean FFS

#000004
girls in full burqa taking photo's of each other in shopping malls - what is the fucking point - you all look like transexual ninjas

#000005
i got my car stuck in sand and looked like a tit in front of the entire fucking office - need a 4x4 dont approve of them
( spimf is best described as 'risky', Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:03, 6 replies)

Evening all
I'm going to be in and out tonight as I need to get my design proposal for uni submitted before I wander off for the weekend.

But come in anyway.


(PenguinOfDeath travelled into the future on, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 18:35, 130 replies)

I'm doing an experiment.
I'm trying to grow a small tree on my desk.

What I have here is a Tsuga canadensis, a tiny hemlock seedling that I dug up at my parents' place. It looks like a Charlie Brown Christmas tree, but so far it's surviving under the fluorescent lights. My hope is that I can make it into a little bonsai tree eventually.

I'll keep you posted on how it fares. God knows if it will survive in here...
(The Resident Loon drives women crazy, but not in the good way, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 18:34, 5 replies)

I realise that no one cares
but I have just finished my 600 page history of photography textbook, and I wanted a bit more fanfare than I got by closing the book and dropping it loudly on the floor.



As you were.
( Madam Marlboro votes for Facebook servers as a nuclear test site, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 18:07, 8 replies)

Whoo hoo for me!!!
I got last post without trying. A later post of a tale I also relayed made 'best of' and mine didn't so I'm having a little sulk.

And I'm having sausage, chips, egg and beans for dinner tonight.

And spikeypicklejunior is a whole year old tomorrow!
(spikeypickle is neither big or clever, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 16:59, 3 replies)

Marmite sucks
Discuss
(The Grammar Badger wanders wondering what wonders await, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 15:29, 110 replies)

I don't know why I find this so amusing
CLICK THIS LINK!

http://deagostini.com/ilovehorses/
( Vipros We made the big time, malicious and mad..., Thu 28 Aug 2008, 15:29, 5 replies)

partners don't understand b3ta
Whenever he hears me laughing, he'll just ask "are you reading your silly bollocks again?" and if we're at work and I try to make him look at something, he'll shake his head and walk away.

In retrospect, maybe the "gash or tash" game wasn't safe for the teacher's office!
(DippyFi, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 15:28, 1 reply)

Julie Moult is an idiot
apparently its true. I would like to see'Julie Moult is an idiot' as the newsletter title this week. any takers?

its all to do with this:
www.neonbubble.com/picture/julie-moult-idiot

and her thievery from b3tan bea beau d'or
( BadBadman is even worse than you, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 14:07, 4 replies)

Davros is coming back to London!
Calling all lovely people! Davros' Grandad will be returning to our fair capital city on the evening of the 10th September.

Those of you not going to the beer festival should join us in our own miniature beer festival.

The link for the calender page is here.
( althegeordie watched westerns while wanking whelks on wednesday, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 12:17, Reply)

Well...
At 23:54 on Tuesday night, I became an uncle for the second time!

His name is Daniel Mark, and was delivered at a healthy 7lb 3oz

Pictures -
a910.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/4/l_937e568ea856b2b03e1e18f67aaf0f6d.jpg

a815.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/27/l_194c2710fc53050947b4b6333215b42e.jpg

a815.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/27/l_194c2710fc53050947b4b6333215b42e.jpg

a716.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/65/l_8736d5e766728df6815184d87f95d16b.jpg

:D
( Agnostic Antichrist Pictures Now In Profile, Click Them!, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 10:34, 8 replies)

Has anything set your mood up for the day yet?
I've just heard the new AC/DC single.
I'm going to be rocking all day now, it's good to have them back.
(oneinthepink Dirty deeds done dirt cheap on, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 9:09, 11 replies)

Morning all!
Another grey day but my heart is full of sunshine! *barf*

Slightly whimsical today, so I wondered:

If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Zero points for

1. Kate Humble/George Clooney
2. Minus Clothes
3. Plus Strawberry Jelly

And, of course, how the devil are you?
(No3l is sane, and merely whelmed these days, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 7:13, 330 replies)

Evening all
Come on in for the evening, grab a bean bag and settle on down. And have cake. Can't forget the cake.


(PenguinOfDeath travelled into the future on, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 18:35, 155 replies)

Buying cars
Why is it that places that sell cars (we're talking secondhand and cheap here) are located in areas that require a car to be able to get to them? And then, if/when you do get there, you have no insurance so you can't legally/officially test drive them. Or indeed drive them away when you buy them.

I. Just. Want. An. Auld. Car.
( crackhouseceilidhband I'll be careful. You'll be dead!, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 15:08, 18 replies)

so, for the last 10 minutes i've been MEGALOLing at this...
www.seaweedproducts.co.uk/

The banner at the top of the page, the look on the cows face and the woman's happy smile and thumbs up is killing me. My boss keeps looking at me like i'm weird. I knew you guys would appreciate it more!
(drain_bamaged, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 14:37, 3 replies)

Narcelepsy
Hey there,

quick question for everyone, can anyone direct me to the clip the BBC did of the narcoleptics meeting when they did the narcolepsy documentary?
(Fuckarma - needs a new job, know of one?, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 12:07, 5 replies)

Important notice
this may not mean a lot to many people:

I've got an mp3 of Yngwie Malmsteen covering Gimme Gimme Gimme by Abba

it's fucking ace
( Vipros We made the big time, malicious and mad..., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:30, 11 replies)

Broken pc
My pc is broken.

Seeing as, for the past eight years, broken pcs were always fixed by the soon-to-be-ex-wife, who now no longer fancies several hours trying to work out what's wrong with the thing, I need to get it fixed some other way.

It's a Dell pc, just over a year old. I've done the standard stuff like removing recently installed software, and rolling it back, but what started out as simply crashing when viewing a video has now turned into not booting in anything other than safe mode.

Should I call Dell and see if they can fix it? Or take it to PC World in the hope that their monkeys can fix it without trying to tell me the motherboard is busted and trying to charge me lots of pennies. Or should I beg my ex to try and fix it?

Any advice is welcome :)
(SeasonTicketless you can't spell "manslaughter" without "laughter", Wed 27 Aug 2008, 9:53, 9 replies)

Explaining the Internet?
My girlfriend couldn't be more IT illeterate either using my Mac or my (shitty) works Vista laptop...

GF: "So, who are you chatting to on the internet?"
Me: "I'm not, I'm reading websites"
GF: "Why?"
Me: "Um...... Well, I'm not just reading, I'm posting on forums"
GF: "Which ones, why, who are you talking to?"
Me: "Argh!"

Am I the only one with a girlfriend (or partner if you like) who doesn't get it? And, how do I explain it? Or do I just hide it and surf on my phone when she's not looking?

Incidentally, yes, this is one of the reasons I'm not on here as much these days as the grief/hassle factor just isn't worth it.

Well, actually, it's more that work has blocked b3ta and I'd forgotten about Axai....

PS - Good morning everyone :)
(james_tiger_woods has a proper flickr page (ask me about it) on, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 9:38, 19 replies)

Victory is mine!
Morning all, I'd like to thank all those people who gave my advice regarding my defective power tool and lack of receipt.

This morning I got my money back despite the women in the shop being rude and unhelpful. Luckily I was able to quote lots of legal stuff at her regarding the sale of goods act and the fact that Wickes were responsible not the manufacturer (It was a Wickes own product mind, so I thought they would have been the manufacturer).

She eventually gave in with the phrase "I'll do it this once but I'll never do it again" to which I replied "Well, I'll happily never shop here again" and her response to this was "Well, we've got lots of customers".

So further question, should I right a letter to head office detailing what she said, explaining that they were contravening the sale of goods act in refusing refunds or exchanges without receipt as "The receipt is the guarantee" and her final comment being extremely rude and generally try and fuck up her day, or should I just leave it and enjoy my new more expensive professional sander bought from B&Q, the receipt for which I will not lose?
( althegeordie watched westerns while wanking whelks on wednesday, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 9:21, 9 replies)

Morning Offtopiclys!
Wednesday brings grey skies - the absolute definition of this years' British summer. I must admit this weather is starting to drag me down.

What do you do to brighten your day?

And how are we all?
(No3l is sane, and merely whelmed these days, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 7:59, 394 replies)

Since it's the wee hours over there, but early evening here
I'll post a story to greet you in the morning.
(The Resident Loon drives women crazy, but not in the good way, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 1:37, 10 replies)

The Great Too-Rye-Ay Appreciation Society
I, Scentless Apprentice,

Would like to reclaim Too-Rye-Ay, the Dexys Midnight Runners Album, from it's current position as frowned upon 80's jetsam and position it as one of the great lost pop albums of the last 30 years.

Is my call seconded?
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 23:04, 1 reply)

It all seems a bit disjointed this evening
so here's the welcome mat to draw in the stragglers of the weekend.



I've spent most of the afternoon asleep or dosing in front of House M.D and still feel tired now, so not sure how much I'll be posting on here. Feel less like shit though and have the hungries, so will endeavour to make food in a bit.

How is everyone?
( beckyjsbx mynameisbeckyjsbxandthisisthelongestdayofmylife, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 20:36, 87 replies)