Un bagno al giorno toglie il medico di torno.
Means a bath a day keeps the doctor away and is the line of a big advertising campaign here at the moment. Italians aren't particularly smelly in my experience on buses and the like though.

Say what you like I can't think of a question.
( LimeyTreat - if she wasn't real you'd make her up, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:07, archived)

Is it "Blue Moon" Roy?

( Obersturmbannfuhrer von Gnome left hand a Bible, right hand an old purple tin, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:08, archived)

I'm drunk

(bogus official hello, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:08, archived)

I'm Boutros Boutros Gali

(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:12, archived)

No I'm Boutros Boutros Gali
and so is my wife
( Derek Monte oh no you di'int, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:13, archived)

eff eff eff

(bogus official hello, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:14, archived)

Burnley, goddamn it.
*does not live in Burnley, just to clarify*
( Little Chey! lyk omg, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:09, archived)

CUNTS

(bogus official hello, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:09, archived)

WELL WHERE DO YOU LIVE THEN.

( Little Chey! lyk omg, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:10, archived)

Semi rural Skipton

(bogus official hello, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:11, archived)

The only good thing about Skipton is its swimming baths and the castle.

( Little Chey! lyk omg, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:12, archived)

And me
I'm in the pool three times a week
(bogus official hello, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:14, archived)

Yes but you are old :(

( Little Chey! lyk omg, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:17, archived)

And SEXEH

(bogus official hello, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:18, archived)

those are two things

( Derek Monte oh no you di'int, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:14, archived)

Pfft

(bogus official hello, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:15, archived)

They are.
I think I may be a bit tired.
( Little Chey! lyk omg, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:15, archived)

London

( Derek Monte oh no you di'int, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:11, archived)

Speak English Or Die.

( stuj COME BACK GILGAMESH YOU STUPID HAT!, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:09, archived)

Jap hardcore FTW

(bogus official hello, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:10, archived)

S.O.D?

( Obersturmbannfuhrer von Gnome left hand a Bible, right hand an old purple tin, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:10, archived)

*Awards Gold Star*
Yup.
:D
( stuj COME BACK GILGAMESH YOU STUPID HAT!, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:10, archived)

HUZZAH!
the world needs more stormtroopers
(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:13, archived)

they teach that at medical school
baths and apples are the natural enemies of doctors
( Derek Monte oh no you di'int, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:11, archived)

DOCTOR WHO IS A HAMSTER

( Sibod fights the stuffing out of chickens, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:11, archived)

hold on,
are you in Italy?
( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:11, archived)

She's got nice baps too.

( Sibod fights the stuffing out of chickens, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:12, archived)

is it?

( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:15, archived)

I think they are called panini there.

( Obersturmbannfuhrer von Gnome left hand a Bible, right hand an old purple tin, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:15, archived)

My visits to Starbucks
will never bee the same again.
( Sibod fights the stuffing out of chickens, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:22, archived)

This is still funny. I can't believe it.

( LimeyTreat - if she wasn't real you'd make her up, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:15, archived)

what just happened?
are you really in italy?
( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:15, archived)

What about Sticky Botty Spunky Crumble?
/ac
( Shegetz three cheers for personal responsibility, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:18, archived)

I don't want
to keep the Doctor away ever. Especially now there are 2 in existence. I can put them to good use.
( moogy boobles Hebbo, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:38, archived)

Civilisation is about to go mental.
You've got ten minutes, what do you pack?
( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:55, archived)

iphone, lube, a beetroot and a fresh pair of pants.

( MrA, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:56, archived)

real men don't use lube

( Derek Monte oh no you di'int, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:57, archived)

real men dont fuck dead badgers
but when civilisation is coming to an end, needs must.
( MrA, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:58, archived)

EPIC BURRRRN!

( Dave! The Boy Who Was Sick All Over The Park, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:59, archived)

POETRY!

( Sibod fights the stuffing out of chickens, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:05, archived)

And they prefer a swede

( Kersal Missive I got ham but I'm not a hamster, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:58, archived)

is that how you see it?

( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:59, archived)

well,
the first is so I can contact people if I need to and listen to music. Every colapse of civillisation needs a decent soundtrack.

The lube will help me love as many women as possible. Especially the infected or zombies, who I expect to be rather dry.

The beetroot is a talking point to get these zombie women in the mood.

and the pair of pants is to wear.... as I expect to shit myself at some point.
( MrA, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:08, archived)

I'd spend 10 minutes printing out as much of the internet as i could.

( well, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:57, archived)

My DS
and a solar charger.

And a box of tissues.
( Sibod fights the stuffing out of chickens, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:57, archived)

Cheesecake, wine, woman

(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:58, archived)

sandwiches
and sensible shoes
( Derek Monte oh no you di'int, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:58, archived)

nothing
i strip naked and stage-dive into the mob
( scott,, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:58, archived)

photos or GTFO

( Derek Monte oh no you di'int, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:59, archived)

erm ok
( scott,, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:03, archived)

pfffft

( Dave! The Boy Who Was Sick All Over The Park, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:06, archived)

Toilet roll.

( The Gentleman Bastard is in ur noun, verbing ur noun. ©, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:59, archived)

I TOOK THAT HAHA!

( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:05, archived)

A wife.
*Holiday In Cambodias*
( stuj COME BACK GILGAMESH YOU STUPID HAT!, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:04, archived)

I'd get distracted and pack a dozen minced chimps into a shoe eleven minutes later

( glued eel, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:04, archived)

beer, fireworks
lots of bacon and a pen and paper
(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:04, archived)

depends how mental really
i'd probably just lock the doors and sit it out for a few days
( Firkinfedup was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:10, archived)

Time of the Wolf scenario
*heads for an Austrian cellar*
(Ronnie Spleen No b3tamates and one b3tastalker on, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:23, archived)

Tent
Bike pump
Biscuits
Fowler's Modern English Usage
( Newington http://rdouglasjohnson.blogspot.com, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:13, archived)

Then I head to the museum and loot a Victorian quadricycle

( Newington http://rdouglasjohnson.blogspot.com, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:14, archived)

Bumly.
Pffft.

Cant be as bad as Gravesend.

(Someone has a fuckoff large quad bike who keeps riding it round the area late at night. Every night. Bastard).
( Sibod fights the stuffing out of chickens, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:52, archived)

REPLY BUTTON

( Kersal Missive I got ham but I'm not a hamster, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:53, archived)

PIMBO
PIMBO

PIMBO
( Easty The Ginge We Need, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:54, archived)

Near Skelmersdale isn't it?

( in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:55, archived)

Yes.
I want to see the Pimbo Massive.
( Easty The Ginge We Need, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:00, archived)

And Son of PIMBOW

( Derek Monte oh no you di'int, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:00, archived)

WHERE?

( Sibod fights the stuffing out of chickens, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:54, archived)

Somebody please come over and beat up these pieces of shit hanging out on my estate
Because I LOVE broken glass on my doorstep
( Kersal Missive I got ham but I'm not a hamster, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:55, archived)

Phone the anti social line 101 or something.

( Wildheart Baby release the midget sweatshop cellar mexicans, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:53, archived)

Why don't you just go outside and politely ask him not to?

( well, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:54, archived)

Beause that'd be far too easy
I'd rather hide behind my curtains grumbing.
( Sibod fights the stuffing out of chickens, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:55, archived)

whilst having a quiet wank.

( Sibod fights the stuffing out of chickens, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:55, archived)

borrow a stinger trap from a local policeman

( Dangermouse. ™ loves VodkaCoke., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:55, archived)

A bunch of blokes have just gone by my gaff
Shouting "We are Burnley, we are here. Shag your women and drink your beer" followed by "You what you what you what you what you what". Anyone from Lancashire want to accept responsibility?
(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:14, archived)

They are from Burnley.
No one is going to own up to that.
( lukedoof Did someone just say weeaboo?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:15, archived)

It is worse than Keighley

(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:16, archived)

Worse than Todmorden?

( in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:16, archived)

I like Tod!

(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:17, archived)

Nothing wrong with Tod!

( lukedoof Did someone just say weeaboo?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:17, archived)

I've never been there when it's sunny
so it always seems miserable and dark. Bottom of the valley, innit?
( in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:23, archived)

Aye, much the same as Hebdins.

( lukedoof Did someone just say weeaboo?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:23, archived)

Hebdins is far too hilly for it's own good.
We walked from the Fox and Goose at the bottom of Heptonstall Road to Castle Druid last weekend.

Not fun :(
( milknosugar diz breakz my heart ow can ne one be so crule?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:27, archived)

Walking to Castle Druid is never fun.
Especially drunk.
( lukedoof Did someone just say weeaboo?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:29, archived)

Well, I say walk, some parts of it were more like climbing!

( milknosugar diz breakz my heart ow can ne one be so crule?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:31, archived)

But...but....the Taxis are about £2.50!

( Wicca'd Witch - the only ZOMGIRL on Syncubus' ignore list., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:31, archived)

I have no idea why we didn't bother with a taxi.
Cracking pub mind. A proper lock in and permission to smoke in the pub when locked in, as it was a 'private party' :)
( milknosugar diz breakz my heart ow can ne one be so crule?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:33, archived)

Ooh get you!

( Sibod fights the stuffing out of chickens, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:35, archived)

Well see, this makes me cry missing out on the fun.

( Wildheart Baby release the midget sweatshop cellar mexicans, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:39, archived)

Me too, so it's a good job that they all missed me.
On that note however, I arm orf to bed. Busy, busy, busy tomorrow.
( lukedoof Did someone just say weeaboo?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:46, archived)

Nah, just on the wrong side of the hills.
The sun sets at 2pm in summer
( milknosugar diz breakz my heart ow can ne one be so crule?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:28, archived)

Worse than Dewsbury?

( well, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:18, archived)

Don't be mean

(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:20, archived)

Nothing is worse than Dewsbury.

( lukedoof Did someone just say weeaboo?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:20, archived)

Leaving aside the fact that it's obvious you have never been to Erith,
What about Accrington?
( Obersturmbannfuhrer von Gnome left hand a Bible, right hand an old purple tin, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:21, archived)

I don't go Sarf of the River.
Me mums from Accrington.
( lukedoof Did someone just say weeaboo?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:22, archived)

Fair enough
Perhaps you see something in the place that I didn't. Admittedly I have only been there once and that was on a cold autumn day when it was pissing down.
( Obersturmbannfuhrer von Gnome left hand a Bible, right hand an old purple tin, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:24, archived)

*Jumps in with a Southern*
Basingstoke
( Cactus 1 Don't Touch the Bang Bang Fruit, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:22, archived)

Nobody cares about down south.

( lukedoof Did someone just say weeaboo?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:23, archived)

*Stabs you with all the knives in London*

( Cactus 1 Don't Touch the Bang Bang Fruit, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:26, archived)

Watch it, you

( in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:24, archived)

Argh
I've found one.

Burn her quick.
( Cactus 1 Don't Touch the Bang Bang Fruit, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:25, archived)

*runs away again*
I'm getting tired of running, all my blubber is wobbling :(((((
( in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:27, archived)

Well on that note
I'm off to bed. I won't get a sexier image in my mind at this time of night.

G'night /Talk
( Cactus 1 Don't Touch the Bang Bang Fruit, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:29, archived)

Night!
*heaves her sweaty belly back inside her straining grubby leggings*
( in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:30, archived)

Night.

( Wildheart Baby release the midget sweatshop cellar mexicans, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:38, archived)

God. That place is a soulless, joyless boil on the arse of England.

( Wicca'd Witch - the only ZOMGIRL on Syncubus' ignore list., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:30, archived)

The funniest thing I ever came across back when I did the whole forensics thing, was a guy who'd been caught raping a dog.
In the cell, he was wearing a corset, womens tights, a builders shiney jacket and builders boots. Nothing else. You'll never guess which part of Lancashire that happened?
( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:17, archived)

Oh dear
There was a vicar caught by the river at Saltaire in a similarly compromising position
(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:18, archived)

ahem
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article145635.ece
( milknosugar diz breakz my heart ow can ne one be so crule?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:26, archived)

HA HA HA
I remember this from our training. They said we would see odd things, they weren't lying
(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:30, archived)

BARKING
rofl
( Rathen is a spiteful wretch who revels in it, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:18, archived)

i'm pretty sure barking is near london though

( Rathen is a spiteful wretch who revels in it, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:19, archived)

They have an Isle of dogs in that London
so I'd expect barking.
( Cactus 1 Don't Touch the Bang Bang Fruit, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:20, archived)

no i meant he raped a dog in barking and and and
it was funny :(
( Rathen is a spiteful wretch who revels in it, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:22, archived)

I know
I ws trying to help you out of the hole you were in.
( Cactus 1 Don't Touch the Bang Bang Fruit, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:25, archived)

It was BURRNLEY.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:25, archived)

i have seen that too!

( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:28, archived)

It's too close to Yorkshite...
it makes the locals paranoid and angry.
( Wicca'd Witch - the only ZOMGIRL on Syncubus' ignore list., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:20, archived)

*Has Lancastrian blood in him*
( lukedoof Did someone just say weeaboo?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:21, archived)

*steps backwards*

( in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:15, archived)

Come here you!

(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:16, archived)

*flees*
I'm from Hampshire!
( in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:16, archived)

PFFT
Worst indictment EVAH
(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:17, archived)

I am the mother of a proud Lancastrian though
and I'm very fond of Lancashire. Particularly the pretty bits.

I can't take responsibility for claret shirt-wearing tossers though.
( in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:19, archived)

All the worst cunts around here are from Burrnlay
Racist wankers to a man
(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:21, archived)

Not all of them are like that...
a lot of them are though.
( Wicca'd Witch - the only ZOMGIRL on Syncubus' ignore list., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:41, archived)

british people are crap
relatively tiny country, but so many petty local rivalries.
( scott,, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:16, archived)

Thank goodness that's not something
That you could ever accuse us Irish folks of.
( Obersturmbannfuhrer von Gnome left hand a Bible, right hand an old purple tin, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:17, archived)

i haven't accepted that you're not british yet.

( scott,, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:18, archived)

I can be if you like
/Dual nationality
( Obersturmbannfuhrer von Gnome left hand a Bible, right hand an old purple tin, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:20, archived)

RACIST

( MrA, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:17, archived)

Isn't that more placist.

( Wildheart Baby release the midget sweatshop cellar mexicans, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:20, archived)

this is nothing to do with fish.

( MrA, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:23, archived)

It's everything to do with the price of news.

( Wildheart Baby release the midget sweatshop cellar mexicans, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:25, archived)

ITS A WAR
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mlm4X3NMv_s
( MrA, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:27, archived)

ha ha
bumley
( glued eel, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:16, archived)

As I'd be drinking my beer whilst rutting with our lass.
They couldn't claim that round here.
( Wildheart Baby release the midget sweatshop cellar mexicans, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:17, archived)

Nor would they wish to
On both counts
(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:19, archived)

So's your face.

( Wildheart Baby release the midget sweatshop cellar mexicans, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:23, archived)

he he
I love it here
(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:23, archived)

It sounds lovely.
Such pleasant people.
( Wildheart Baby release the midget sweatshop cellar mexicans, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:25, archived)

Sorry, my responsibilities for Lancashire end at Mossley.

( Wicca'd Witch - the only ZOMGIRL on Syncubus' ignore list., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:20, archived)

OOF

(bogus official hello, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:22, archived)

Is that how you see it?

( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:24, archived)

Yes.
I also hold no responsibility for bits of Cheshire - Stockport is nothing to do with me.
( Wicca'd Witch - the only ZOMGIRL on Syncubus' ignore list., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:29, archived)

So when push comes to shove...?

( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:31, archived)

They can get fucked.
Ashton, Oldham, Stalyvegas, Hyde and Mottram - these places I will accept liability for. Maybe Wythenshawe if I really really have to.
( Wicca'd Witch - the only ZOMGIRL on Syncubus' ignore list., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:35, archived)

In terms of the cause though?

( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:40, archived)

I made Harold Shipman the man he is today.

( Wicca'd Witch - the only ZOMGIRL on Syncubus' ignore list., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:41, archived)

What, dead?

( Obersturmbannfuhrer von Gnome left hand a Bible, right hand an old purple tin, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:43, archived)

Yes, but FAMOUS.

( Wicca'd Witch - the only ZOMGIRL on Syncubus' ignore list., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:44, archived)

You are just like Louis Walsh
But with a higher mortality rate.
( Obersturmbannfuhrer von Gnome left hand a Bible, right hand an old purple tin, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:45, archived)

Is that how you see it?

( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:48, archived)

If Louis Walsh had red hair

( Obersturmbannfuhrer von Gnome left hand a Bible, right hand an old purple tin, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:50, archived)

but what about other things?

( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:52, archived)

What sort of other things?
I'm not sure what Mr Walsh thinks of horses, nor am I aware of him ever having had sex with Badger.
( Obersturmbannfuhrer von Gnome left hand a Bible, right hand an old purple tin, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:53, archived)

it was the sort of thing we didn't need to see!

( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:21, archived)

I'm with you on this one.
Burnley is the shit that neither Lancashire nor Yorkshire wants nor needs.

I'm just sorry that they are associated with the County Palatine :(
( milknosugar diz breakz my heart ow can ne one be so crule?, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:24, archived)

LOL John of Gaunt!

( in vino veritas, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 23:25, archived