INCA.
COME HERE.

NOW.

RIGHT. STAY WHERE I CAN SEE YOU RIGHT.

I mean, seriously, is she expecting the dog to fucking reply?

I'm off to Doncaster today. Tell me stuff I can do to keep me occupied on the train. Or tell me stuff I can do to shut my dog-loving flatmate's girlfriend up.
( Peter Davison is irate he isn't the youngest Doctor Who now., Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:54, archived)

read a book

(Just Harry is being chased through dungeons by dragons, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:56, archived)

You could say "shut up and leave the dog alone for fuck sake."
Also. Write limericks on paper planes and throw them. Either in the carriage or out the window as you pass stations/towns.
( Maffers I'll just go crazy like the good old days., Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:56, archived)

She's only here one day a week
I'm gonna have to start waking up early on Saturdays and going to a mate's or something.
( Peter Davison is irate he isn't the youngest Doctor Who now., Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)

kick her in the face
and try sleeping through the requests to see your ticket
( executiverocker wants more shoe on head, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:56, archived)

If you blow up a dog's nose it resets the animal's internal language programming
which is why they go cross-eyed. Two blows shifts it to French, three to Russian and four to Arabic, which means you can only throw it sticks from right to left.
( Grrrmachine my life for ire!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:56, archived)

This is genius.

( Malchick sounds exciting, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:57, archived)

popularpagebooyakashah

( Grrrmachine my life for ire!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:04, archived)

Sing "On Ilkla Mooar baht 'at" over and over again until she surrenders.

( Noit last used an unnecessary comma on, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:57, archived)

The Wikipedia page for that is funny.
There's a photo of "Ducks on Ilkley Moor, as in the song."
( Todd the Todd yummy poo, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:01, archived)

They aren't playing football :(

( Noit last used an unnecessary comma on, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)

Ah've bin on Ilkla Mooar baht 'at.
AND I'M NOT DEAD YET.
(MooCow_Byter all this time tried to walk with dignity and pride, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 13:52, archived)

What the fuck are you blathering on about, Stephen?
In interesting news, I don't know lots of the "people you may know" on facebook, I assume many of them are people from here whose real names I don't know
( Hankster, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:57, archived)

his name is Stephen?
how dull
( Grrrmachine my life for ire!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:57, archived)

Mine's Darren
That's duller, and a bit more chavvy
I may as well be called Wayne or Gavin
( Hankster, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:58, archived)

Darrens have interesting history of a slightly criminal nature
slags for sisters, chain-smoking mums and a CV with more short-term employment than Sarah Palin.

Stephens dabbled with a bit of gay sex before settling down to 40 years as bank clerks.
( Grrrmachine my life for ire!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:00, archived)

Everyone calls me Friz anyway

( Peter Davison is irate he isn't the youngest Doctor Who now., Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)

I know two people called Stephen/Steven
and they both prefer to be known by their surnames.
( Todd the Todd yummy poo, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)

'Stephen' truly is an awful name

( Peter Davison is irate he isn't the youngest Doctor Who now., Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:14, archived)

Sounds about right
I have half a dozen sisters and I used to be a criminal. My mother is a heavy smoker and I have had about 20 jobs
( Hankster, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:03, archived)

kerching
Connotation Of Names, innit
( Grrrmachine my life for ire!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:05, archived)

What about Elizabeths then?
eh? :)
( Fluzzy, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:08, archived)

I don't do requests
what do you think this is, a fucking cabaret?
( Grrrmachine my life for ire!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:09, archived)

Okay. Sorry.

( Fluzzy, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:11, archived)

my name is david
not harry
(Just Harry is being chased through dungeons by dragons, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 11:59, archived)

Davids dont have enough mates to be called Dave

( Grrrmachine my life for ire!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:01, archived)

actually
i don't like being called dave, its not my name and every fucker says it like they're suddenly my best mate
"hi, i'm david"
"alright dave mate! how ya doing?"

it also help being called david when there are about 7 other daves all dirnking in the pub at the same time
(Just Harry is being chased through dungeons by dragons, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:03, archived)

Davids are also very defensive
Goliath Theory
( Grrrmachine my life for ire!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:06, archived)

the name
apparently means beloved
(Just Harry is being chased through dungeons by dragons, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:13, archived)

I hate that thing
there's like 4 people on there I actually do know who they are, and there's normally a reason I'm not already friends with them.
( Nile, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:00, archived)

I found out from a real life friend that there is one local guy aropund my way
we'll call him Aaron, cos that's his name, who is trying to sleep with all the women on his friends list, and failing.
I find this amusing
( Hankster, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)

http://www.b3ta.com/talk/5533912

( Peter Davison is irate he isn't the youngest Doctor Who now., Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:01, archived)

Ah

( Hankster, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:04, archived)

My name is Cleisthenes.

(Cleisthenes Has a wii number now, be my friend! MarioKart!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:08, archived)

My name's Ruari
I'm very attractive you'll probably fancy me
(PsychoChomp hey man she gets it, stop cock blocking me, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:09, archived)

how do we pronounce this?
sort of: roo-r-ee
or row-ri
(Just Harry is being chased through dungeons by dragons, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:14, archived)

Rory is fine
it's meant to be pronounced like brewery without the b,
(PsychoChomp hey man she gets it, stop cock blocking me, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:15, archived)

That's quite a cool name.

( Todd the Todd yummy poo, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:19, archived)

^this

(Just Harry is being chased through dungeons by dragons, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:23, archived)

I have an ex called that
but his is spelled Ruaraidh 'cause it's Gaelic and that.
( icklepeach is due to drop sprog number 2 tomorrow - EEEEK!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:23, archived)

Find places to hide on the train
then jump out and go BOO before running away giggling to your next hiding place
( elusive meh, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:01, archived)

Yes. Obviously.
Are you some sort of thickie?
( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:03, archived)

why on earth are you coming to Doncaster??

( icklepeach is due to drop sprog number 2 tomorrow - EEEEK!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:08, archived)

This is a very VERY valid point.

(Cleisthenes Has a wii number now, be my friend! MarioKart!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:09, archived)

Cousin's wedding
He's 29. The bride is 50.
( Peter Davison is irate he isn't the youngest Doctor Who now., Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:14, archived)

Either she's got a cunt like a pencil sharpener
or he's got a cock like a coke can. Considering this cousin is related to you, I'm going to suggest it's the former.
( Grrrmachine my life for ire!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:16, archived)

that's about normal for round here
where is it being held?
( icklepeach is due to drop sprog number 2 tomorrow - EEEEK!, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:18, archived)

I dunno
I'm staying at the Caribbean Hotel though.
( Peter Davison is irate he isn't the youngest Doctor Who now., Sat 11 Oct 2008, 12:25, archived)