Well,
Other than being a bit of pedant and pointing out bullshit (particularly about fictitious sherbert claims - we wanted it to froth too, but all it does is burn the sensitive tissues at the back of the nose! So fuck off with your bullshit! Oh, and learn to spell! Disaster has two s's!) I didn't really do much that was pointless, other than in the way of chemical excess.

I also went through a stage of drinking and smoking from the moment of waking and never missed a night out, even if I didn't want to drink/smoke/go out, solely to live up to the character I had developed. I eventually became what I had an image as, and this proved to be a double edged sword.

I'm now nearly 30, a father, a responsible home owner and manager at work, yet I still drink like a fish, cane it a little too hard, and consequently have a constant struggle to keep the two lives separate and my brain together and functioning properly...

Quite a laugh though.
( disasterprone is seeking a girlfriend. Any volunteers?, Thu 26 Jul 2007, 10:32, Reply)

One of my classmates
got a new bike. We would have been about 11-12 at the time. He wasn't really the brightest bloke, but he was a hard nut and someone dared him to ride it off the end of the pier into the river. He accepted the challenge.

So off he went, up the hill, and came charging down towards the pier, which was really just a short stone jetty, but a good 10 feet above the high tide mark. He jumped off the end, Evel Knievel-stylee, and splashed into the muddy and deep water.

He survived, but his new bike remained lodged in the muddy depths of the river Tay, where presumably its rusty cadaver still remains to this day.
( K2k6 has much snows, Thu 26 Jul 2007, 10:25, Reply)

Rebellion!!!
When a wee sprog, 10 years old, I once stole two big bottles of my dads homebrew. For some reason that escapes me I thought the local cemetery would be a safe place to drink them so I merrily cycled there on my bike.

Once I'd arrived I necked the stolen goods with commendable speed for a ten year old. Then it all went horribly wrong.

First, the world started to spin. This I didn't lie one little bit so I jumped, or staggered, onto my bike and tried to head for home. Then the second bad thing happened. The front wheel of my bike fell off.

This was not good news. My fuddled brain decided that this was God punishing me for:

A) Theft and
B) Drinking on hallowed ground.

I was going to hell.

I ended up bursting into tears, abandoning my bike and legging it home where I tearfully confessed all to my mum. She battered me for stealing.

I learnt a few lessons that day. Don't fuck with God and never, ever, admit when you've done wrong to those in authority. After all, if you confess you're going to get battered.

Better to lie and hope you'll get away with it.


Cheers
(Legless Internet Ninja - We Own The Net, Thu 26 Jul 2007, 10:24, Reply)

I can't remember if it was to shock someone or not, but it was certainly pointless...
Me and my mate Gazz thought it would be cool if I rode my bike and towed him on his skateboard down this path near his house. It went down a steep hill and round a sharp right hand corner. You generally couldn't take the corner without brakes, but this day we were going to try.

Gazz sat down on his skateboard, grabbed the back of my bike and we set off. It was all going well I thought, as I took the corner faster than I'd ever done before.

Looking over my shoulder to my right however, I was somewhat surprised to see Gazz's skateboard keeping up with me, but no Gazz.

Looking to the left, I saw Gazz, also keeping up with me while tumbling end over end, still in basically the same sitting position he'd started in, with a very surprised and bewildered look on his face.

I nearly fell off my bike laughing =)
( Professor Kenny Martin rocks! \m/ (>_<) \m/, Thu 26 Jul 2007, 10:09, Reply)

I wore my school tie 'backwards'
...i.e. with the thin bit on show, the wide bit tucked into my shirt. And I wore grey shoes, instead of regulation black.

I thought I was the dog's bollocks, I can tell you.

...look, I went to a very strict school. OK?
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Thu 26 Jul 2007, 9:30, Reply)

Adrenalised
Back in the early 1990's I was your average, ordinary, everyday kid. I was happy to do nothing, in fact that's what I did. I had a million ways to make my day, but my dad disagreed. Whenever I tried to get away he always said he had plans for me.

He was always trying to get me to mow the lawn, walk the dog, take out the trash or tidy my room. In the end I'd had enough and said, "Sorry dad, I've got to disappear" and I quickly got the rock out of there.

I used the experience to write a song with my band. We had a badly spelt name, were named after a big cat that was hard of hearing and our main gimmick was our one armed percussionist. EDIT We were crap ace.
( abefroman fritters & wastes the hours in an offhand way, Thu 26 Jul 2007, 9:28, Reply)

Naked Indian Trick
Not quite sure how, why or what I'd taken to arrive at the point where I was stood outside the local Indian "The Raj", with quite a few mates, and then turn round to one and say:

"I bet you I walk in there naked and windmill my cock for our Indian friends"

I mean, these dudes where used to the strangeness off us local youths as every weekend would involve copious amounts of acid/pills/pot/beer and the ensuing madness was, in our minds, normal.

So getting my cock out for a bunch of blokes seemed like a good idea and of course as I'd said I would now i had to. So off came my shirt and I walked in and just dropped 'em.

Arms and legs spread, cock spinning and a gang of lads outside in hysterics. Man I can still remeber his face and more to the point what his eyes where doing. He couldn’t help it, he tried to keep eye contact but his eyes kept going south. Poor bloke.

Strangely though, I have no shame and still go in there and stranger he always smiles and seems happy to see me.
(tedalaki - Like Purple Aki but better, Thu 26 Jul 2007, 9:27, Reply)

I took beer on the Geography trip
Nicked from my parents, and before the trip it was hidden in my wardrobe under some old shoes. I was left with 2 bottles after Mum found the other 2. It wasn't even any good- piss-weak 3% lager from Tesco.

Some cunt told a teacher, so I was rumbled. I got told off- but not even a detention. I also wasn't punished apart from being told off when I persistently graffiti'd the upper school toilets in felt-tip.
( idonthaveafunnynickname bought a VAX (not the hoover), Thu 26 Jul 2007, 9:11, Reply)

Ozzy
Had a mate at high school whos mum was a Jehovas Witness. To rebel I leant him an Ozzy Osbourne scarf. She was not impressed.
(kitescreech Matt Bryant: MVP., Thu 26 Jul 2007, 8:18, Reply)

A few more
Wasn't quite yet a teenager but a person at our primary school (and unfortuneately i hate to admit it, one of my best friends at the time) seeked cooldom by getting the nike tick shaved into the back of his head which he was promptly told to get rid of. At the time it was the fucking height and we were in awe of his audacity.

A famous act of rebelness that i could get on board with was the obligatory giving the finger(s) to lorry drivers and the like on school trips. One time at the age of 14 i decided to take it to the next level and got my friend to make me a nice viewable sign sporting the phrase "keep your eyes on the road you cunt" it was used to great effect and turned one driver of said mobile to go red in the face and dangerously cut in and out just behind us, leaving us with a slightly different shade of underwear and looks of astonishment.

Also not a teenager but another guy from our primary school in a cheeky act of reboldom asked the convicted peadophile ice cream man (how he was allowed to be so near the school i don't know) "Would he give him an ice cream if he bent over?"
(Joey Stall, Thu 26 Jul 2007, 3:06, Reply)

How to (almost) kill an OFSTED inspector
Not entirely on purpose mind...
Going back a few years, A-level physics. Me and a mate conducting a "lift" experiment whereby we calculated the lift generated by a propellor by the negative weight it generated at differing rpms. Unsure how it all worked now, but we were dead chuffed and our physics teacher was dead proud of us. Until one day...
Due to the fact that the prop motor we used was unrated, we had to think of a way of knowing the rpm of the prop another way - and we found an old strobe light, the theory being that if the strobe flickered at the same rate as the prop span, the prop would appear "still" (which it did - cue much hilarity when forgetting if the motor was on or not).
So there we are, darkened room, prop spinning, strobe light flashing. We hear a voice outside our cramped dark room saying "and in here we have two of our most promising students". Door opens, teacher sticks head in, followed by OFSTED inspector. Who was, previously unbeknownst to us or any of the school staff, epileptic.
(animal252 last activated his kitten hammer on, Thu 26 Jul 2007, 0:33, Reply)

Hanging out in subways
A few years ago (I was about 15/16 or so) myself and a large group of friends used to spend our long summer days hanging around the subway by our secondary school. In an effort to impress the girls who used to come down we did some really stupid things. The subway was at the bottom of long, steep concrete slope and had two extremely steep grass hills either side of it. One day a friend of mine turned up with a skateboard and we thought it would be a cool idea to impress the girls by speeding down the steep slopes like motherfluffers.
I chose to drop in on a near vertical drop and subsequently landed right on my head. So there I was crumpled up in the subway, I didn't move for awhile, really freaked out some people who thought I'd killed myself.

I got the girl in the end and still have many happy memories of my days at the subway.
(GammaStar, Wed 25 Jul 2007, 22:58, Reply)

Dance monkey! Dance!
In every group of friends there is always one performing monkey who has to endure humiliation for the sake of amusing the rest of the posse.. I was always that monkey.

Pointless things I did to amuse/shock included :

* Eating a whole Marlboro Light that had been dipped in Stella

* Demonstrating a willingness to disregard the sacred "3 second rule" and eating things that had been on the floor for an indeterminable amount of time.. or worse , under someone's foot

* Setting fire to my own face whilst trying an amusing way of lighting a cigarette

* Having to walk around for 2 weeks with one red eyebrow after an unfortunate incident involving semi-permanent dye

* Wearing one of those plastic rain bonnet things (y'know the kind that old ladies wear to protect their blue rinse from the rain) for an entire friday evening shift at work

*creating homemade tattoos for myself with the aid of a compass

To be honest, if there was anything that could be done to make a complete tit out of someone, I would be the one subjected to it.
There must be so many more however I've probably banished them to the very back of my memory due to the trauma.

Attention seeker? Moi? Neverrrrr.... *whistles*
(Peek_a_Boo is back from the dead...Forgot Login. Doh!, Wed 25 Jul 2007, 22:45, Reply)

book report
Once when I was in the sixth or seventh grade I was required to do a book report for English class, so naturally I chose the book I had most recently read: Lolita.
(wkiernan, Wed 25 Jul 2007, 22:39, Reply)

I drew a stick man falling of a cliff going AHHHHHHHHHHHHH on the back of a toilet door at school
I was proud of myself, but they shut down the toilets the next week and turned them into offices.

twats.
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Wed 25 Jul 2007, 22:23, Reply)

Abefrom's story reminds me of some school-related twattery
Suffice to say none of these individuals were me.

One bloke answered his german exam in french, presumably to show how he wasn't going to let the man tell him wht language he's got to speak, or somesuch. It's a shame, then, that it's the man who ultimately decides what kind of future he's going to have.

Another person I know, and strongly dislike, did his second year latin exam (yes, I did go to a posh school) with the text book open on his knees. He still contrived to get an E. Also, for those of you who don't know about the UK Maths Challenge, it's a multiple choice external paper of maths type problems that gets set every year. Five points for a correct answer, minus one for an incorrect one. Many of us left the exam hall confessing that we hadn't found it easy (except for the one who inevitably just picked his answers at random then took it as an opportunity for a couple of hours sleep), except for him, boasting about his l33t maths skillz and how he'd probably got 100%. Imagine, then, our glee when it actually transpired that he's managed to achieve the school's first ever negative score.

I've just realised that last rant was probably not quite on topic, but seeing as it's now less effort for me to post it than delete it, here goes.

Also, it's cathartic.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Wed 25 Jul 2007, 21:11, Reply)