Paranoid
Not quite on topic, but as Che says, it's nearly Thursday....

I had a call a couple of weeks ago from a bloke called Gordon, who said he represented the local self-help association for sufferers of paranoia. They were holding a function to raise money for the association and wanted a band to play at it, hence the call to me. I said I'd check with the boys in the band and asked him to call back in a day or two.

A couple of days later, the drummer happened to be round at my house, and I was telling him about the gig, when the phone went. I answered it.

"Hello, this is Gordon from the paranoia association", said the caller.

"Oh, hi Gordon", I replied, "We were just talking about you."

He put the phone down.
( K2k6 has seen Lesley Garrett naked, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 15:13, closed)

Hehehehe
Fantastic



Although I can't help suspecting urban legendness, it still made me chuckle.
(Bearded Whumpus In chav Britain, schoolgirl offers sweets to YOU!, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 15:14, closed)

...
I think the phrase "pfffftttt" is aposite here...
*click*
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 15:19, closed)

lousy
truly

lousy!!!!!!!!
( rachelswipe when life hands you lemons FUCK THE LEMONS & bale, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 15:20, closed)

Prepare to receive Click:
*click*

That's the sort of timing I wish I had! Knowing me (and half the human race) I'd have thought of that a few hours later...

Damn!
( Devil_In_Tights - A cheese and onion union jack tickler it is!, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 15:44, closed)

Put down the joke book from Woolworths..
... and go and play with your bunsun burner.
( big-girl's-blouse Wake me up when it's January, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 16:00, closed)

Yes OK
That story may contain some made up bits....!

It's Wednesday afternoon though, what else do you expect from me?

And funnily enough I was using a Bunsen burner earlier, but have just been using a UV-Vis spectrophotometer. So there.
( K2k6 has seen Lesley Garrett naked, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 16:12, closed)

the paranoia association
aren't anywhere near as hard to work with as the tourettes association.

They invited me to speak at their annual meeting, then swore at me the whole time!
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 17:01, closed)

Reminds me of the Emo Philips gag adapted...
Some people say I'm paranoid, but the other day, I was walking innocently down the street, minding my own business, when a roofer, fixing new tiles on the roof of one of the houses in the street shouted out: "CHE GRIMSDALE IS A FUCKING MORON"...















...in morse code.
(Che Grimsdale What would Homer Simpson do?, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 13:36, closed)