perfect poo
I have discovered the secret of perfect, hassle-free, odourless poos.

Follow a low-carbohydrate diet and your number twos will be as regular and efficient as the Turd Reich (sorry, couldn't help it), requiring the minimum amount of toilet paper and enabling you to poo freely throughout the land, free of stench-related worry and accusations and, unfortunately for this QOTW, amusing stories.

Of course, being a lady, my poos and farts smell of lavender anyway.

I did once poo on the stairs when I was very small.

And my car is covered in seagull poo as well.

That is all.
(happylittletulip has invented Pringles Hockey!, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 15:29, closed)

I beg to differ
I overdose on carbs, fats and proteins and my turds are as regular as clockwork and always of the same consistency.
(frankspencer, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 15:35, closed)

ah
but are they smell-free?
(happylittletulip has invented Pringles Hockey!, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 15:39, closed)

I eat a pretty balanced diet
but my shits (and farts) stink to high heaven.

Some of my mates refer to me as the Devil's Arse.

EDIT - I currently have the same seagull issues with my car!
( K2k6 has seen Lesley Garrett naked, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 15:41, closed)

turd reich
You get a click for this. I'm a sucker for shit puns.
(Hippo_of_Doom, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 22:19, closed)