Monkey
For some reason me and my wife starting calling each other monkey.

I'm a big black guy. She's a petite white Russian girl.

Nothing racial in it, and it wasn't until I mentioned to her once that she probably shouldn't use it in public, and she asked why that I told her it's a racist term.

In the pub, she's forgotten, and says, "My little monkey, can you get me a drink?"

Silly eavesdropping middle-aged yank woman at the table next to us, decides to intervene.

"You shouldn't use that language against that poor man. Just because he is not white, you can't call him a monkey and make him get you drinks!"

My wife, who speaks perfect english (since she's lived in Australia since she was 17, before we got to London), turned up the Russian accents and responded back "I'm sorry, what do you call your niggers here?"

The woman stammered, thought for a second, then said, "We call them African-English".

WTF? If I couldn't stop cracking up at the bar, I would have told her off for that, but it was too funny.
(Kaer, Wed 28 Nov 2007, 0:29, closed)

Martishka
Martishka or monkey is a endearing term in Russian, like calling someone Kitten (Kisa) or Bunny (Zychik).
(Dneprdave, Wed 28 Nov 2007, 3:53, closed)

tis true...
my wife calls me monkey, although it's because I'm very very hairy...like a monkey.
(cherry B, Wed 28 Nov 2007, 9:01, closed)

I hope we dont start using the term "African-English"
it sounds ridiculous.
(Colonel Dracula Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious., Wed 28 Nov 2007, 10:15, closed)

Agreed
You're born in this country, you're English. End of story.

edit: Just realised that I've posted this from Australia. Still stands up though.
(Legless Internet Ninja - We Own The Net, Wed 28 Nov 2007, 10:18, closed)

.
What if you're born in England, but you're on holiday?
( browser, Wed 28 Nov 2007, 12:04, closed)

Browser...
You'd be a 'vacationally-achieving African-English person'.
(Sir Harrington Titsmith is in ur realm, bein' a peer, Wed 28 Nov 2007, 14:52, closed)