A few...
Wasps - As soon as a wasp comes within 10 feet of my I look like I'm fighting with the invisible man. Flapping arms, kicking around, twitching and generally closing my eyes and running like fuck. Have been stung twice. Once on my 5th birthday. Once on an early date with my girlfriend. In a queue at Thorpe Park, I ran my hand through my hair and found something in it which lodged between my fingers. I pulled my hand down so I could see it... No sooner had I seen it's yellow and black stripes than the little bastard had stung me. However, so energetic was it's thrust at my finger that it couldn't dislodge itself. I took great pleasure in cleaving him in two, looking at his upper end, still wriggling, and throwing him in the bin where he belonged. Then I pulled out the sting and pretended it didn't hurt, gotta look macho for the bird.

Stairs in the dark - I can't walk up stairs in the dark. I have to run, or a monster will grab my ankles.

Cushioned seats in public places - Ideal place for some bastard to put a dirty needle for me to sit on and catch HIV/AIDS/Hepatitus/Lergy. Have to gently run my hands across the surface before I'll sit down on it.

Chavs - They WILL stab me if I look at them. They probably will if I don't. Whatever happens, with this country's legal system, they'll get away with it.

Rivers - They might have viles disease in them. I have to check for blue/green algea on the banks before I'll go anywhere near them.

EDIT : Botflies - Cunts.


Length? Not bad for my first time...
(MeekMan Trying to reinvent the toaster since, Sun 13 Apr 2008, 23:45, closed)