ODD
Whilst sat stood sweating like a feverish pig in an abattoir holding room on the tube today, I picked up a discarded Metro in an attempt to distract myself from the foetid, sweaty horror of other commuters and came across a story about some revolting sprog who'd received an ASBO.

Mother: "My son shouldn't be given an ASBO because he has ODD."

ODD? Apparently it stands for "Oppositional Defiant Disorder," and the symptoms are that whenever an authority figure gives an instruction, the childbeast does the opposite.

Call me cynical, but that's not a fucking disorder. That's your child being an objectionable little shit, madam. "Needs treatment," my bilious arse.
(The Supreme Crow is so very weary, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:54, 16 replies)

bored bored bored
I'm off to the doctors in a bit and to secure my ticket to Hull I was thinking how hilarious it would be if someone collapsed in the waiting room and I got to shout "Oh my god is there a doctor in the house?"

Ok it's not funny but I am very sick *coughs*

Question if you went on a murderous rampage who would you like to play you in the TV series (because lets face it you're not going to get a series based on your looks or smarts) and what music would you like playing during your spree?
Edit: Oh and as porky wrote his weapon of choice let's get that too!
( The Grammar Badger loves cheese more than she'll ever love you, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 8:40, 50 replies)

Opposite bands
Limp Bizkit and Stiff Little Fingers.

To be honest I can't think of any others so this may be a non-starter. But I have faith in you all!

*goes back to bed for another half hour*
( The Ghost In Chains has Mountain Goats stuck in his head, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 7:32, 21 replies)

Edis a cunt he's a big fat cunt he's the biggest cunt in the whole wide world
Anyone who disagrees with me is stupid and wrong. FACT
( beckyjsbx SQUIRREL, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 0:15, 45 replies)

HELLO OINTERNET
I', very drunk. Well done me
( beckyjsbx SQUIRREL, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 0:01, 21 replies)

More Movies.
What film did everyone you know rave about, but you find dull, borring and/or uninspiring?

For me, it's Lord of the Rings, there isn't much I would walk out from the pictures from, but that's one of them. Fuck doing 9 hours of it.

It's not that I don't like fantasy, it's more that I just didn't like _that_.
( Gonz and the spare room from january. Gaz me if you're interested., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 23:06, 25 replies)

Here's a question.
What would you say is the best film scene you've seen?
Not necessarily the entire film, but just the one scene.

Personally, when River kicks reaver arse at the end of Serenity. I will never get tired of watching that fight scene.
(Applebite wishes she was still at Leeds., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 20:29, 117 replies)

I haz made graph

( The Grammar Badger loves cheese more than she'll ever love you, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 20:28, 27 replies)

my post over on QOTW... 'Ominous' Integrated Creative Consultancy
complaining about the hellish treatment i got from my employers seems to be invisible to google all of a sudden

as far as i am aware if my ex employers had stumbled across my post and wanted to block it from google they would have to ask the b3ta webmaster to remove it from google search, it's still available on yahoo search but who uses that? any suggestions?

anyone know how to contact the b3ta webmaster?
( spimf ™ has jacked it in, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 19:37, 11 replies)

Evening All
So the head took my class for the morning as I was stressed.
They climbed out of the windows, ran across the tables and threw tennis balls at her.
By the time I got there two children had been sent home.

Ha.

So how were you collective days?
( Mrs Liveinabin is the only person left who uses indicators, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 19:16, 7 replies)

Job hunting
'noon all.

What's the best site to look for a new job? There's dozens of the bloody things.

Has anyone got any recommendations on what to use or not use?

(I work as a Sales Manager, if that makes any difference)

Ta in advance
(SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 17:37, 16 replies)

Nostalgia rocks!
The television was on last night and that old advert for Milky Way was played. You know the one with the red and blue cars! I was so delighted I punched a customer.

Did anyone else see this and what old adverts do you love?
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 16:56, 17 replies)

FUCKING THREAD DELETER
Why take things to gaz unless you have something to hide.

Eds meds FUCK OFF YOU INTOLERABLE CUNT.
( beckyjsbx SQUIRREL, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 16:09, 74 replies)

Are we cliquey?

( beckyjsbx SQUIRREL, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 16:04, 96 replies)

Ok, so I'm at work, and I'm very, bum-crimpingly drunk....

(long story...)

I get picked up in less than an hour. What can I do for maximum spacktardedness before I am collected?

nothing too strenuous though...I'm a bit drowsy to be honest...
( Pooflake , for imsomniacs who don't respond to strong drugs, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 15:48, 14 replies)

Perhaps I should answer my own question here
Lest it get lost in the (frankly unexpected) morasse of replies.

No, I haven't. And wouldn't.
( jim_bob is from the Fens, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 15:46, 7 replies)

Has anyone been so daft
As to actually post anything more than a picture of themselves in less than their undies online?

And in a break with tradition, I'm not after a link, it was a question that just popped into my head.
( jim_bob is from the Fens, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 15:07, 149 replies)

Pay me attention!
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention
Pay me attention


Please!

Edit - come on your workshy cunts. Don't tell me i'm on EVERYONES ignore list?

Edit Edit - Alright, lets all say a rude word together, that will be FUN won't it.

Edit Edit Edit - If you reply and talk to me I will post a picture of my cock.

Edit Edit Edit Edit - The replies seem to be drying up again.
( althegeordie thinks Bert is a poo head., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:34, 76 replies)

choose your song and replace one word with cock
I will always love cock
( beckyjsbx SQUIRREL, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 13:28, 144 replies)

Boo
I missed my B3taday, it was Monday. I spent most of it on trains.

Tell me what have you missed recently?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge is now learning to play the guitar on, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 13:24, 16 replies)

So, no break-away F1 series next year.
*shrugs*

What would you break away and build a bigger, better version of?
( Noely Noel is trying to bite his left ear, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 13:12, 9 replies)

Is it just me
or has becky got to be really quite annoying on here recently. It's like that "special" cousin of yours who won't leave you alone when you meet your family, you can't punch them in the face, but you really wish you could.
( althegeordie thinks Bert is a poo head., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 12:26, 20 replies)

I say, it is just me or is Al being a tad cuntish today?
He hasn't been on here in days and when he turns up, he's a little bitch again.
( beckyjsbx SQUIRREL, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 12:19, 15 replies)

What the flip?
Just heard that Thin Lizzy have pulled out of supporting AC/DC on Friday.
They're being replaced by The Subways.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 12:14, 10 replies)

Ha
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/belgium/5603769/Girl-with-56-stars-tattooed-on-face-admits-she-asked-for-them.html

Hands up if you knew she was lying, silly bint.

[edit] bah missed it was posted earlier, apologies. Now who's the silly bint...(yes, yes, apart from ym)
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 12:01, 3 replies)

slow today
what's wrong with you all?

seriously, tell me. there must be something wrong/weird about you.
( Vipros like a fighterjet made out of biceps, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:52, 18 replies)

Come on then
Who fancies a fight?

beckyjsbx.mybrute.com
( beckyjsbx SQUIRREL, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:36, 7 replies)

BBC News Website
Every time I have used this site recently it carries the legend "Traffic to this site is currently X% below normal". Surely the definition of normal needs to be re-aligned? And why should traffic have plummetted? The recession? Any guesses?
(Porkylips Built for comfort, not for speed., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:23, 1 reply)

In response to the cat thread I posted below
the chosen solution is lion shit

www.crocus.co.uk/product/_/tools/pest-control/silent-roar-lion-manure/classid.2000004185/
( Vipros like a fighterjet made out of biceps, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:10, 10 replies)

For no apparent reason
I remembered this classic line from Bottom

Eddie: Cry did ya?
Ritchie: No, quite the opposite actually.
Eddie: What? You sucked water in through your eyes?

Which episode was it from?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:00, 4 replies)