OMG, I KNOW A SECRET
And it's a reeeeeeeeeally juicy one
( beckyjsbx SQUIRREL, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 20:59, 139 replies)

I love music
The one consolation (okay one of two) of the other half being away is that I can sit in the living room and drink beer in my pants and crank the stereo right up to 11.

The other consolation is the Bravissimo catalogue.
( althegeordie thinks Bert is a poo head., Fri 12 Jun 2009, 20:37, 37 replies)

I'm smitten
And it's doing my head in :(

I need moar cider.
( Captain V, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 19:48, 74 replies)

Sexface has a willy like a button mushroom.
that is all.
( Gonz and the spare room from january. Gaz me if you're interested., Fri 12 Jun 2009, 19:31, 8 replies)

hey ya'll
I got called a cold hearted bitch today.

What did you get called today?
( Kristine in our house made of paper, your words all over me, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 19:31, 27 replies)

beckyjsbx is shit.
Discuss.
( SexFace! POKER: http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/21224, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 19:01, 15 replies)

Best flashmob ever
You've probably all seen it before, but I fucking love this

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfxCnZ4Dp3c
( beckyjsbx SQUIRREL, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 18:22, 18 replies)

OH HAI GUYS I'M HOME
I just had some chinese and have a tinny. Plans for the evening? I'm thinking of masturbating over a picture of piston_broke, before rocking backwards and forwards as the full horror of what I did kicks in.
( SexFace! POKER: http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/21224, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 17:02, 39 replies)

Watched Slumdog millionaire last night

It was alright, a bit contrived and pretty obvious.

I didn't feel any tension at the end because a) We knew that he didn't care about the money and had already "won" the girl and b) I knew the answer...so it didn't seem very difficult. (I'm sure most of you lot did too)

I hope Transformers 2 lives up to the hype better than 1; what's going to be the best film out this year?
(NakedApe Cheesemaid for all your breakfast cheese needs, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 16:29, 63 replies)

Ah, exams...
At Oxford there is a tradition of wearing a carnation to exams, white for the first, pink for the ones in between, and red for the last.
My red one has died. This is somewhat of a bad omen (luckily the last exam counts for pretty much nothing).

Any of the rest of you have any strange superstitions?
(Tedium {Insert witticism here}, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 15:49, 59 replies)

I was at the museum in Manchester
and there's a wildlife exhibition type thingy on with loads of stuffed animals (taxidermy, not beanie babies). In the sealife section was a narwhal horn.

Up until that moment I had honestly thought that narwhals were mythical creatures, like a unicorn or a dragon, and the only reference I had seen to them was in an episode of Futurama. When I mentioned this to my friends, they mocked me ceaselessly and even a small (yet probably studious) child nearby who had overheard my confession looked at me with disdainful pity.

Is there anything you have been shockingly ignorant of that you really should have known, or is it just me that's spectacularly retarded?
(KittyOHara is a master corsetier since 1875, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 15:41, 17 replies)

I've just been drafting a quote
and the default address on our proforma is for a site on "Nork Way".

This made me laugh more than it should.
( althegeordie thinks Bert is a poo head., Fri 12 Jun 2009, 15:25, 11 replies)

Never thought I'd say this...
But al actually made a fair point.

I've deleted the post.

Now, to replace it. I've drunk far too much relentless, and so I'm bouncing off the walls.

Can anyone help with suggestions of ways for me to either calm down, or put my hyperactivity to good use?
( Agnostic Antichrist wonders if there are any 'normal' pics of him..., Fri 12 Jun 2009, 15:20, 48 replies)

Children's books
hangableautobulb's post about his/her (sorry babes) new kitkit made me blather on about my own cat, and why he's called Piper.

Made me think about all the mad stuff I was brought up on as a child. If you've read any Tomi Ungerer, you'll know what to expect. It's not quite your average cats-wearing-clothes book, it has a touch of the bizarre in it. Well worth a read - it was one of my father's favourite books, and I loved it too. But it's a bit weird for a child to read.

So what did you read when you were small?
I loved Richard Scarry, Quentin Blake, James Thurber, Tove Jansen, Kathleen Hale (the Orlando books), Ogden Nash, and E. Nesbit.
And are there any odd books that you just remember?
(Lampito is trying not to look so lost, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 15:17, 16 replies)

Watching coverage of the Foxy Knoxy trial.
I would.
( workboresme being bored at work since, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 15:16, 7 replies)

Apparently
Watching tennis isn't classed as "work"

What ridiculous office based shit have you been told today? Actually fuck that lets just bitch and moan about stuff - that's normally more exciting to read.
( The Grammar Badger loves cheese more than she'll ever love you, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 15:04, 29 replies)

Woo yay for the new cat!
New cat in the household ... Mia. Beautiful 1yr old white shorthair, friendly and likes a fuss.

(my first cat btw)

Can I get a WOO YAY?

Cat-related witticisms expected really. What's your favourite cat story / joke?
.
(hangableautobulb is an anagram of the best album ever, on, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 14:44, 8 replies)

Arses!
Had the doctor cracking up laughing yesterday........he was having a look at my bum and I quipped "you could at least have taken me out for dinner and bought me flowers first". Then, as he gently slid his finger up my poop chute I whimpered "you didn't even tell me you love me". Him and the nurse were cracking up - most people are too embarrassed to talk, let alone crack jokes :)
So.....surgery on July 30th to lazer off the botty grapes and biopsy my intestines and confirm I have colitis. One high fibre diet coming up.....bleurgh!
( workboresme being bored at work since, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 14:28, 24 replies)

Oooooh
My chalfonts are playing up something terrible. Anybody have farmers and knows a good rememdy? I won't be fooled into using 'Deep Heat' muscle rub.
(sandettie light vessel automatic My dog has no dictionary, how does it spell awful?, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 14:25, 13 replies)

My day is steadily getting better...
Had a nice lunch, looking forward to tonight, am bouncing off the walls due to a can of Relentless, and am finally listening to a friends band after being told to last November.

Bit of brutal metal always cheers me up!

How about you fothermuckers?

p.s. The band is here - www.myspace.com/neuromametal
( Agnostic Antichrist wonders if there are any 'normal' pics of him..., Fri 12 Jun 2009, 13:52, 35 replies)

I quite like it here.
I might stay.
( SexFace! POKER: http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/21224, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 13:46, 41 replies)

I'm leaving work early today to collect my nephew from school and take him to his dads in Manchester.
After dropping him off, shall I keep driving further and further away from home and see where I end up to start a new life or shall I go home and have pizza and a bottle of wine.
( big-girl's-blouse wants to know if we're nearly there yet, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 13:16, 31 replies)

executive decision
I'm taking the afternoon off. starting now.

see you suckers
( Vipros like a fighterjet made out of biceps, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:36, 7 replies)

There's a bash on Saturday.
I'm considering going. I've only been to a couple of /talk bashes. What should I expect from you lot?
( SexFace! POKER: http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/21224, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:13, 138 replies)

Red Trainers with grey socks
What are you wearing that makes you look like a twat?
(spikeypickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:13, 21 replies)

hmmm
interesting thought just occurred to me.

in the replies..
( Vipros like a fighterjet made out of biceps, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 11:46, 22 replies)

I've just been poking around on Limmy's site
after reading about the screamer on the BNP's myspace, and I found this.
Basically, it's a widget you can post that enables you to redirect the page to another site of your choosing.
Does anyone out there feel like making a convincing looking spoof page for the BNP and redirecting everyone to it?
I accept no responsibility for any legal action that may occur as a result of any defamation hilarity
(Theophilous Thunderwulf will eat for food, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 11:43, 6 replies)

OK Joke time!
Q. What's an all-nighter at the Medical Examiner's office?



A. 's Morgue-asbord.

So what bad jokes have you heard recently?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge is now learning to play the guitar on, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 10:22, 56 replies)