My most recent
Is buying a 17 year old Golf GTi, spending a grand getting it into useable, reliable condition and then getting bitten by a desire to own a Scirocco.

There goes another two grand then!

Petrolheads, the poorest of all the hobbyists.
(Kroney is having a night of hell, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 11:01, 1 reply)

MOOOOOooo!
There is (was) a chain of butchers in the North-West called Dewhursts. In the late 80's they spent tens of thousands (probably) on a radio / newspaper advertising campaign. They came up with a witty catchy slogan.

Alas, the weekend the campaign was launched was the same weekend the BSE Mad cow diesease story broke in the worlds media.

And the catchy slogan?? What else?
"GO MAD THIS WEEKEND, BUY SOME BEEF"
(bugboybeast, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 10:13, 1 reply)

Using my head as a brake....
....now I can't remember my own Wedding day lol

Signed R. Hammond
( Jeccy Free Wii obtained, see profile :D, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 10:12, Reply)

Meh
It should have had at least an honorary mention by now, but, on a premise weaker than that played out in a porno I once saw, where a bloke got bitten on the cock by a rattlesnake and lo! who should come along but a helpful maiden to suck the poison out, the current cost of this debacle is $465 billion,

www.nationalpriorities.org/Cost-of-War/Cost-of-War-3.html

/shrugs/littlebitofpolitiks
(Countryslicker, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 9:56, Reply)

Potentially a very expensive mistake... two ships in the night...
I do hope this is true. Apparently it's a transcript of a radio conversation released by the US Chief of Naval Operations in 1995.

ship 1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

ship 2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

ship 1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

ship 2: No. I say again, suggest you divert YOUR course.

ship 1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS MISSOURI, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!

ship 2. This is a Canadian lighthouse. Your call.
( String Theory sometimes feeds the sparrows too, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 9:25, 4 replies)

Not really an expensive mistake...
... but in the vein of the "expertsexchange" domain name, we used to wind up one of the Microsoftie admins in a webby company I used to work for by referring to his beloved Microsoft Exchange mailing list as "the Mmmmm Sexchange list".

Actually, the company went tits owing me two month's wages, so I suppose it was a fairly expensive mistake?

Length? About six weeks before I discovered where the ex-boss lived.
(gordonjcp, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 8:42, Reply)

Working in a garage on the YTS
Remember them?

This happened in the late 80's, was seconded from my I.T colleage to a garage in Scunthorpe to do basic office work etc.

On one day the garage had a delivery of battery acid. The storage tank was upstairs (crazy!!) The delivery chap plugged in the pipe and commenced the delivery, he then went for a butty.

A couple of hours later, one of the mechanics noticed that acid was running DOWN the outside of the delivery pipe, alerted the delivery chap(had just started another butty with lashings of tea) he then turned off the pump.

You've probably guessed what has happened, the tank had overflowed, the acid had seeped all over the top floor (wooden floor) and had started to eat into it, therefore weakening the structure.

It also seeped thru the floor, and a deluge had gone into the managers office, burning it's way thru his microfiche machine and his desk (thankfully he was on holiday). The computers went down as it ate it's way thru power cables and network trunking.

Took approx a week before all traces of it was removed and they had to get building inspectors in to check the integrety of the floor.

Needless to say, the battery acid tank was moved downstairs...
(Skeksis 2nd place is 1st loser....., Thu 1 Nov 2007, 8:22, Reply)

My local hospital is state of the art, top 100 in the US, etc etc.
A couple of years ago they obtained an ultra-expensive pharmacy robot named TUG which scoots around the hospital delivering medication to various units. It's pretty much a complicated talking refrigerator on wheels - it knows its way around the hospital, can operate elevators, and dispense the proper prescriptions to the proper units.

This is totally awesome apart from the fact that it can't open doors. Instead it bashes into the door over and over while repeating "PLEASE MOVE ASIDE" until someone comes along and opens it. This can take a seriously long time, especially at night.

Stupid robot.

edit: I forgot the incident where TUG accidentally found its way into a heart patient's room at night. It sat there going "BEEP. PLEASE MOVE ASIDE. BEEP. BEEP. PLEASE MOVE ASIDE," bashing into the bed repeatedly. Needless to say the poor woman was scared shitless.
( trintrin has jam for blood, Wed 31 Oct 2007, 21:38, Reply)

Mine air analysis
Carbon monoxide in underground coal mine air is usually present but indicates problems if it starts to increase above a few parts per million. Mine thinks they have a problem, I analyse the air, get 0.0006% CO, which is a bit high but not anything to panic about. I phone the safety officer and tell him "point three zeroS six". He writes ".306". CALLOUT. Mines Rescue teams on standby, we fly to the mine on a chartered plane, mine closes for 48 hours.

We installed a telex machine a few months later. This was about 1978 so no email existed.

Lesson -
Never say anything over the phone which is capable of being misinterpreted. Don't gabble mutter or mumble on the phone. They cannot see your face and do not know whether they are writing down what you mean. If they have to write it down, say it at dictation speed.

Use fax or email for anything numerical. If some message you get looks dodgy, call back and confirm. Not funny I know but at least no canaries suffered.
(Redemption, Wed 31 Oct 2007, 21:15, 1 reply)

I've got another poo story if anyone wants to hear it.
And I could throw in some sizzling gypsies for good measure?
(Lunar Jim, Wed 31 Oct 2007, 20:02, 1 reply)