The sun was bright,
the January morning was crisp, and the year was 2006.

Completely Underwhelmed, our intrepid heroine, was waiting at the DVLA test centre in the hope she'd soon have a licence.
She'd taken the morning off school and was resplendent in her uniform, smiling happily at her Test Examiner, excited at the hour ahead.

Standing outside the port-a-cabin the first challenge was put to her:
'Can you read off the numberplate of that red car there for me?'
Young Underwhelmed's smile began to falter.
Her lip started to quiver, and some say a small tear welled up in the corner of her eye.
She could NOT read off the numberplate of the aforementioned car...
for she had forgotten to wear her glasses that day.

'Titwank!' thought our heroine 'I can't afford another test! I'll just have to play the shy schoolgirl card.' and she muttered an incomprehensible number plate reading to the examiner in a hushed tone.

'Good...' he said, 'but what was that third thing you mentioned?'
Little Miss Underwhelmed squinted and strained her eyes to see the numberplate.
'F?' she queried.
'Hrrrm, try that one again' encouraged the examiner.
'H?' she speculated.
'One more go!'
'E?' she wildly stabbed.
'Three! That's RIGHT!' beamed the test examiner. 'Now if you'll just get in the car..?'

Her jubilation at getting past the eyesight obstacle came to an abrupt halt, as the realisation dawned upon our leading lady that she was actually going to have to drive a car with her vision one giant multicoloured blur.

'I'd best flash him some leg while I'm driving' thought the young daredevil as she started the engine...

***

Fifty minutes or so on, and the test was going rather well.
Young Underwhelmed had remembered the difference between right and left, stopped at zebra crossing for some pedestrians and even managed to go clockwise around all the roundabouts she'd encountered.
The final task was ahead of her as the little car slowed to a halt in a housing estate and her test examiner looked over.

'Now,' said he, 'if you'll just reverse around this corner...'

Smiling up at him, our paragon Thwunked the car into gear and started the manoeuvre, making excellent use of her mirrors, when...
'oh! how pretty my eyeliner looks when my eyesight's blurred!' she thought, and started to look a little closer at her own reflection...

...MINGEFLAPS!!!!!
Suddenly our heroine was ON THE CURB!!!!!

'Oh heck!' she panicked, 'that's a Major! I've failed!!'
Flipping her head round to stare behind her in distress she wildly groped for the handbrake and floored the foot brake, bringing the car to a sharp halt.

It was only then she was aware of a slight cough from her examiner.

Then, it suddenly dawned upon her...
her hand was not on the handbrake...
it was in her test instructors crotch.

'Feck!! Feck!!! FEEEEEECKKK!!' she inwardly screamed, and did the only thing that came to mind.

She smiled at him, and winked.

Then died inside.
( Completely Underwhelmed, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 15:27, closed)

hahaha
Your blagging was supreme until that fateful moment.
At least you went out with a bang and have a story to tell, telling it in the 3rd person only heightened the anticipation.
(Evilweevil last molested a monkey on, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 20:08, closed)

>click<
So, did you pass?
(TDub I renewed marriage vows in HELL! Michigan, that is, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 21:05, closed)

Brilliant storytelling!

( Bob Todd, Groincrusher General Wrath of the Lich King is MINT!, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 22:25, closed)

Actually...I did pass!
It was my first test, and somehow he settled on four minors.
I've not had an accident in almost two years though =)
( Completely Underwhelmed, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 23:02, closed)

oh the beauties of being a girl
can you imagine what would have happened if it had been a boy that did this?

I don't imagine that a pass would have been the end result (unless the examiner liked little boys...)

My driving test guy asked me out on a date... and then got really embarrased when I pointed out the engagement ring.

I think that had more to do with me passing than anything else.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Thu 27 Dec 2007, 1:32, closed)

*click*
a grand tale, narrated with eloquence and humour.
(JasperSinister is offering two tickets to the gun show, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 14:03, closed)