Accidental animal crueltyI once invented a brilliant game - I'd sit at the top of the stairs and throw cat biscuits to the bottom. My cat would eat them, then I'd shake the box, and he would run up the stairs for more biscuits. Then - of course - I'd throw a biscuit back down to the bottom. I kept this going for about half an hour, amused at my little game, and all was fine until the cat vomited. I felt absolutely dreadful.
Have you accidentally been cruel to an animal?
This question has been revived from way, way, way back on the b3ta messageboard when it was all fields round here.
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rob, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 11:13)
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Evidenceooh ooh ooh! me me me!
(long time reader, first qotw post)
Constable Crunch (my uncle) is a policeman on a small Mediterranean island.
This is a particularly laid-back island, where laws are pretty much considered as 'guidelines', and as long as you don't do anything bad to anyone else, then everyone's happy.
Just last week, aforementioned uncle was out doing the rounds in hunting season and discovered a hunter who'd been shooting bunnies outside of the boundaries of the hunting zone. Deciding that the paperwork wouldn't be too much of a bother (as he was having a slow day anyway), he brings in hunter, plus gun and recently-shot rabbit to the police station.
Grandmother's house is on the way to the police station, so in order to avoid the car getting smelly and bloody from various entrails and what-have-you, he deposits the leporid carcass on the back steps of grandma's house to dispose of later.
Having dealt with all the paperwork and handed the gun in as evidence, the desk Sergeant inquires as to the whereabouts of said bunny, as it would be required for evidence.
"Fair enough," thinks Uncle, and plods off to grandma's house to find an empty space where our four-legged friend had lain.
"Dinner's ready!" comes the call from the kitchen. Uncle walks in to find a fresh rabbit stew bubbling happily on the stove. Oops.
* Epilogue *
So, he did the honourable thing and asked his brothers if any of them had shot a rabbit that day, as he might possibly require it for, er, official business. Luckily, the evidence was replicated nicely and the perpetrator was slapped with a fine and let go.
The rabbit stew was lovely, apparently.
Penis joke.
*Edit:
Tenuous link to topic: so I guess the accidental stewing of a rabbit led to the demise of another one. ish.
(, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 13:45, Reply)
Captaincrackerjack just reminded me...A similar pigeon-kicking incident happened to me...
Only with typical consequences that only seem to happen to me.
A few years ago, I was walking through a crowded Rugby town centre (by the clock tower) with some mates on a cold a frosty morning.
There were the habitual greedy fucking pigeons sniffing about, picking the scraps from the nearby Mcdonalds and the Burger vans.
I seized the opportunity to look like a pigeon hating superhero in the presence of my peers.
"Watch this!" I exclaimed lifting my boot up to give one of the lttle bollocks a 'pretend' hoof up the arse...
when my other leg slipped and gave way...
After an almost full loop-the-loop, I fell on my fat, stupid, showing-off arse in front of 100s of shopperfolk, who thought it only decent to point and laugh their collective tits off at my expense.
Thanks for reminding me Captain...
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Pooflake is seducing your hippo, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 13:34,
2 replies)
The light...The light!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Not cruel, but not exactly kind!
I live with a couple of friends who have two great cats. The magic of laser pointers drives them insane when the little red dot of light is zipping across the carpet and up the walls. They go completely nuts for it!
On day 'S' was sitting watching TV and during the ads started whizzing the light around on the carpet. The cats went nuts for it as usual and then came the evil grin on 'S' face.
He moved the red dot around the room and finished with it on the switch for the TV. Both cats sat transfixed watching it, waiting fo rthe next move. 'S' then put the TV on standby and left the cats now staring at the red LED of the TV power button instead of the laser pointer.
After an hour, both cats were still there watching the red LED and 'S' couldn't bare to leave them there like that, so whizzed the laser pointer about a bit to get them out of their trance!
They still fall for the same trick every time!
(, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 13:28, 1 reply)
I kicked that pigeon right in the ass...When I was a schoolkid, I was walking home from school with some mates, and espied a pigeon sat eating dogshit or somesuch on the pavement a few yards in front of me.
"Watch this!" I advised, before taking a run up and aiming the tip of my trainer at the pigeon's fat rear end.
In my defence, I never thought that I'd make contact - I presumed that it would fly away before my kick made contact. However, this was not the case, and as I booted it in the cloaca it let out an almighty 'caw' and flew into the air whilst feathers fell out of its tail.
Accidental because I didn't think I'd do it, but pretty ace nontheless. Aerial vermin, don't you know.
(, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 13:17, Reply)
once visiting a friendi was led into his green house and proudly shown "da erbs mon".
upon entry we inadvertently startled a big fluffy sleeping cat. who awoke and immediately jumped 3 feet in the air! then as soon as this fuzzy ball of panic hit the floor, he ran full speed and smashed straight through the fucking green house glass to escape! this was made all the more amusing by the fact that we were extremely stoned at the time.
(, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 13:03, Reply)
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